Tuesday, November 05, 2002

Weird Website of the Month

This month's pick is American Pie and the Armegeddon Bible Prophecy. Yes, you read that correctly. What does Don Mclean's famous song have to do with the end of the world as we all know it? Visit this site to find out.

I actually found this a long time ago when I was searching for the lyrics to American Pie. I especially get a kick out of the animated graphics, in particular the lighting bolts. Oooh, run in terror for the end is near, according to the prophet Don Mclean. Where the hell (no pun intended) do people come up with this stuff?

Friday, August 30, 2002

Bio-Warfare


It's time once again for that most masturbatory of literary forms: the self-written bio! Let the gushing of self-love begin! I am a guy in his early twenties who looks like he's in Junior High. I hate going to places where they card you for fear that they'll destroy my license for being an obvious forgery.

I like music. I don't like dancing. Well, actually, I like watching people dance, but I don't like to dance. Why? Ever see Elaine from "Seinfeld" dance. I'm worse.

I'm a terribly shy person. I have a hard time just saying hello to people at work. They probably think I'm stuck up or something. I'm also very quiet. I accidentally sneak up on people and scare the willies out of them sometimes. I'd make a good ninja if it weren't for my lack of coordination (see 'dancing' above).

I'm in a band. I play the guitar. By "play" I mean I turn it up as loud as it goes with full distortion and bang away randomly on the strings. It sounds suprisingly good, if you like that sort of thing. I keep trying to get other people to join my band but they say that they can't play any instruments. If they came and listened to us practice they'd realise that that isn't a problem.

I love learning. I love finding out that things that I've thought were true for most of my life were really wrong. I'm just weird that way I guess.

I love people. I hate people. I love them because they're so unpredictable. I hate them because I can never figure out what the fuck they're going to do next. People make me laugh, people make me cry. Sometimes both at the same time.

Pets are like children: why have your own when you can enjoy those of your friends and family? That way you can play with them when they're fun and hand them back to their owners/parents when they get grumpy or poop on the floor.

"The Bernard Pivot Questionaire"

The Questions are:
Q. What is your favorite word?
A. Hello

Q. What is your least favorite word?
A. Irony (It's misused and overused.)

Q. What turns you on?
A. Raw, live music (no matter what the genre).

Q. What turns you off?
A. People who would rather be safe than free.

Q. What sound do you love?
A. The opening bass line of 'Psycho Killer'.

Q. What sound do you hate?
A. My watch going off at 8 in the morning telling me it's time to go to work.

Q. What is your favorite curse word?
A. Fuck. Probably the single most versatile word in the English language.

Q. What profession, other than yours, would you like to attempt?
A. A deity of some sort. Just a minor one.

Q. What profession would you not like to participate in?
A. Gay porn star.

Q. If Heaven exists, what would you like God to say, when you arrive at the pearly gates?
A. "Good news! There's Heaven, and there's Hell, and Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell sure ain't up here..."
I am a full time college student who loves watching bad television; Spanish soap operas, cheesy 80's horror movies, infomercials, kiddy shows on the Christian channel etc. I occasionally feel the need to throw shoes at people when they upset me. I have a cockatiel named Ichabod (Iggy) who almost set off our burglar alarm last night with his beak (try explaining that to the cops). I have learned to use my toes to pick stuff up and push buttons not because of any physical problems but due to sheer laziness. In fact today because I didn't feel like cooking anything I've only eaten some dehydrated potato slices from a box of potatoes al gratin. Music is very important to me and I listen to a wide variety of styles, I always travel with a suitcase full of just cd's. Lately I have been listening to Jeff Buckley, Belle and Sebastian, the Doves, the Cannannes, Bob Dylan, The Velvet Underground, Bob Marley, April March, Deadsy and Aimee Mann. If you are still reading this and want to know more about me I have another blog

"The Bernard Pivot Questionaire"

The Questions are:
Q. What is your favorite word?
A. Shiesty, I just love to say it.

Q. What is your least favorite word?
A. Bruise

Q. What turns you on?
A. Laughter, creativity and understanding

Q. What turns you off?
A. Too much structure and authority.

Q. What sound do you love?
A. The noise you hear when you slowly tear a sheet of paper.

Q. What is your favorite curse word?
A. Hmmm. I guess Prick because it makes men really angry for some reason.

Q. What profession, other than yours, would you like to attempt?
A. Underwater Archaeologist

Q. What profession would you not like to participate in?
A. Mime, then I would have to suffocate myself in the stupid box out of loathing.

Q. If Heaven exists, what would you like God to say, when you arrive at the pearly gates?
A. I would like God to say he and my Father are proud of me, and then point me to my rightful throne.

Wee~ It's Bio-time. (why did i just get an image of mc hammer wearing the big pants?)

Serena is a girl that likes to write her bio in third person just to be annoying. She has many hobbies including reading (everything from Jane Austen to scifi/fantasy to trashy romances), writing fanfiction, watching anime, drawing and painting, playing the sims, and hanging out with her friends. Her taste in music is ecclectic. She enjoys surrounding herself with people that do not necessarily conform to what is considered 'normal'. She finds 'normal' people boring. For more info, visit her other blog, Infinitesimal.

"The Bernard Pivot Questionaire"

Q. What is your favorite word?
A. Obscure. I like the way it sounds.

Q. What is your least favorite word?
A. Vomit.

Q. What turns you on?
A. Hmm. Lot's of things.

Q. What turns you off?
A. People that think they are right all of the time.

Q. What sound do you love?
A. Wind chimes.

Q. What sound do you hate?
A. The garbage truck.

Q. What is your favorite curse word?
A. Shiznit. (it's something I made up to keep from saying 'shit' at work.)

Q. What profession, other than yours, would you like to attempt?
A. History teacher.

Q. What profession would you not like to participate in?
A. The military.

Q. If Heaven exists, what would you like God to say, when you arrive at the pearly gates?
A. Welcome.